My Marriage is Pretty Special.

marriage goals

My Marriage is pretty special. It always was something special, but before I lived Astrology I would get so mad at my husband for things that he still does, but look totally normal under the lens of  his birth chart placements. After Astrology I was like oh shit.-Im doing this wrong, but so right for […]

We’ve all got Ghosts

we've all got ghosts.

We’ve all got Ghosts. Ghosts linger in our energetic atmosphere, and not the kind that need salt and iron to banish. In reality all these horror characters are just our real lives crying out for a more dramatic reprise. People stay haunted by the ghosts of their trauma. Safe guarding our hearts by locking the […]

Healing is a Buzz Word that Sucks.

Healing is a buzz word that sucks.  Our human journeys are plagued with invitations to “heal” You ever notice that? Crystal healing, Energy Healing, Healing Arts. Even things not meant to heal and are riddled with toxic chemicals are marketed as “healing” Try this skin care product it will heal your insecurity about discoloration, and […]

Things I’m Still in Love With

Things Im still in love with

I was thinking of the things I’m still in love with, and with me talking so much about how I am different, I  didn’t want you to think I wasn’t the same at all.  I’m still very much the same. I still love wrestling, read voraciously, move my house around every few weeks, eat too […]

Almost 36

I get caught up in my head all the time. I lose my ground, or hand it away sometimes, without noticing I did that. I usually have to be dragged out of places, Once you get me on the road I am a monster at life, but getting me out of the places I find […]

The Patriarchy.

My Grandmother for weeks now, has been recounting the day my Grandpa died on our Sunday visits. It started when I asked her if I could buy her a new bed. She told me she has not slept in a bed in nineteen years, because my Grandfather died in it. I know that not sleeping […]

Monica Said There Would Be Days Like This.

I have a book in my bathroom called “14,000 things to be happy about.” It was a Christmas gift from my Aunt who had just been diagnosed with cancer.  This Aunt was a very thoughtful gift giver, and inside she wrote: “ Janika, Of all my nieces and nephews, you’re the one always spreading cheer […]

Letting Go

 It is unnaturally difficult for me to lead with love. I have to practice the same way I have to practice getting into half saddle with out the need for fifteen yoga props. I still find it impossible sometimes to just say the things, I am thinking instead of becoming increasingly irate that my not […]

Happy Birthday Day Week Muffin.

Three years ago on January 26th, very early in the morning I text my friend Elana a picture of this perfect tiny human, who just came out of my body. I captioned the perfect picture with “I had a baby for your birthday!” This year Is the first year Elana will spend her birthday not […]


As a thirty-five-year-old woman striving to live with the integrity of a disney princess, I can no longer look around and wait for the adult in the room to step forward when someone is looking for them.I am supposed to be an adult. I have to actually adult. For someone who takes on responsibility like […]