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Almost 36

Almost 36

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I get caught up in my head all the time. I lose my ground, or hand it away sometimes, without noticing I did that. I usually have to be dragged out of places, Once you get me on the road I am a monster at life, but getting me out of the places I find familiar is damn near impossible….

The Patriarchy.

The Patriarchy.

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My Grandmother for weeks now, has been recounting the day my Grandpa died on our Sunday visits. It started when I asked her if I could buy her a new bed. She told me she has not slept in a bed in nineteen years, because my Grandfather died in it. I know that not sleeping in a bed because someone…

Monica Said There Would Be Days Like This.

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I have a book in my bathroom called “14,000 things to be happy about.” It was a Christmas gift from my Aunt who had just been diagnosed with cancer.  This Aunt was a very thoughtful gift giver, and inside she wrote: “ Janika, Of all my nieces and nephews, you’re the one always spreading cheer and happiness! So, keep it…

Letting Go

Letting Go

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 It is unnaturally difficult for me to lead with love. I have to practice the same way I have to practice getting into half saddle with out the need for fifteen yoga props. I still find it impossible sometimes to just say the things, I am thinking instead of becoming increasingly irate that my not mind reading husband, has not…

Happy Birthday Day Week Muffin.

Happy Birthday Day Week Muffin.

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Three years ago on January 26th, very early in the morning I text my friend Elana a picture of this perfect tiny human, who just came out of my body. I captioned the perfect picture with “I had a baby for your birthday!” This year Is the first year Elana will spend her birthday not in her physical body. There…

35

35

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As a thirty-five-year-old woman striving to live with the integrity of a disney princess, I can no longer look around and wait for the adult in the room to step forward when someone is looking for them.I am supposed to be an adult. I have to actually adult. For someone who takes on responsibility like a martyr in a zombie…

Hey Kid I’ll Bring the Ice Cream.

Hey Kid I’ll Bring the Ice Cream.

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I listen to Wayne Dyer, Rumi, Ram Das, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Anne Lamott most recently. The one thing all these teachers have drilled into my head is that you have to heal something referred to as the inner child. I get how lame that sounds. I grew up in the early nineties for god sake. The cabinets got smaller…

Winter

Winter

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I took a season off from blogging , because I was waiting for what my new normal would bring, and I’m not into expressing my melancholy and struggles in such an open forum. My growth never comes from expelling all that raw, fiery emotion to anyone but my physical journal. Winter is here, and after a contemplative and productive Fall I feel stable…

The Lost Art of Class

The Lost Art of Class

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* Stupid pictures like the one above really interfere with my quest for inner peace. All my Wayne Dyer, and Hay House teachings go right out the window. I hope you enjoy or hate all my judgments about girls and inappropriate clothes. I have a serious problem with the length of shorts in 2016. Not because I am afraid some…

3 Things to Know if you Love a Leo.

3 Things to Know if you Love a Leo.

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Someones birthday is coming in just 10 days!! Who you ask? Just one of the most amazing girls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. ME! This should be no surprise that I am part of the most elite branch of the Zodiac. If you are lucky enough to love a leo here area few things you should know…