We’ve all got Ghosts.
Ghosts linger in our energetic atmosphere, and not the kind that need salt and iron to banish.
In reality all these horror characters are just our real lives crying out for a more dramatic reprise.
People stay haunted by the ghosts of their trauma.
Safe guarding our hearts by locking the ghosts up inside -allowing ourselves to turn into dusty old haunted mansions.
The thing about being alive is that we are going to feel hurt by the biological imperfections of it all.
Choices are made from this point of hurt and the people who have loved, and raised us hurts.
We throw the ghosts to the attic and act like they dont exist, or maybe allow the ghosts to run the show rampant and create monetary success off the entire mess, or get sent to jail or even maybe get sucked up into a TV- by a poltergeist..
Who can say?
I have not encountered a real ghost in my ethereal work yet.
I have seen some strange shit.
I have seen some dark shit.
But I have not needed the iron, the salt, or a Winchester, unfortunately- in my travels.
However, I have seen ghosts live on people.
Ghosts of what might have been.
Ghosts of what isn’t.
Ghosts of the injustices people cant reconcile.
Ghosts of bitter endings left to rot and fester.
Ghosts of Parents disappointment cascading around someones shoulders like mermaid hair.
I see so many ghosts that I think maybe I am a Winchester in my own way.
I think we all have ghosts.
The things that haunt us in the dark.
The things we wish could be different, crushing the dreams we could have now.
Wishing for more.
Wishing for alternatives.
These prayers are always answered by ghosts.
The reality is what is right infront of us, yet we all choose sometimes to head into our haunted mansions -and cuddle up with our phantoms.
The only way to rid ourselves of the ghosts is to rid ourselves of the ghosts.
Every time the ghoul makes a haunt by daily life we decide to not follow it up the stairs to its cold, never producing results room to cry about it all.
This is not to say we shouldn’t acknowledge the feeling the ghosts brings, because really the ghost part is just the feelings we still keep feeling that we dont know quite where to put.
Sometimes it just takes a yes, I did hope for this, but thats is not what it is, and yet here I am. What can I do now?
Poof- ghosts be gone.
Some days I let some ghosts stay, feeding them- knowing the entire time that it leads to nothing but the achy misery of never was, but I myself am a sadist.
However- on the days I have to fight the ghosts to keep myself off the edge of losing it- I do that by doing less for the outside world, and more for my body’s world.
I fight them by reading, breathing, stretching, reminding myself this is only a moment,walking, arting, gardening, laughing.
Not by trying to reason my way thought it all.
Not by telling myself to suck it up and get moving on with my life.
The only way to “fight” the ghosts is through the being present.
We want it to be harder than that.
Cause it feels like so much.
We want the answers on how to exterminate the ghosts and live stress free, but Im not sure who sold the idea to us on life where the ghosts dont get us somedays.
If you have ever really loved anyone and lost them to fate, stupidity, or addiction I cant imagine how you have no ghosts.
Loving people after all resides us to sharing in their fate.
The problem is when the ghosts become a mausoleum of the past didn’t work outs.
Kicking out any bit of new and could be.
The problem is when the ghosts get fed a regular diet of affirmations about how much better it could have gone.
To fight the ghosts we have to believe that it can only get better.
That maybe the best things haven’t even happened yet.
That maybe we do in fact have the resources to change our lives.
I know my ghosts wont win the war, because my personality is built with the steadfast determination of a story book hero.
I have appointments open for all the folks not built like this, or who dont even know they are built like this, or who forget sometimes they are built like this too btw. <3
Even knowing this some days I still feed the ghosts, because I do love a happy ending, and even if it cant be true, I can at least spend a warm spring afternoon wrapped in the arms of imagination.
I just dont live there, because life is happening outside of that haunted place, and I don’t want to miss a thing.
I find with anything- if you fight harder you make it worse.
Here is to less trying to fix it all and more feeling what it is.
Good Luck Out There.