Maybe it could Stay Summer just a little Longer?

backtoshoolSchool is a week away!

For every god awful please start an iv line full of vodka day there has been this summer there were more of  those days that the sun seemed to be shining from inside my house.

OG will get on the bus, walk into his class room, and start his elementary school journey.

His first year as a full day school kid.

Recess, Cafeteria lunches, 6 hours of someone else in charge.

It is all happening for him this year.

My heart is aching in all sorts of ways.

I will miss the way he and his siblings would sit outside on the porch every morning after Hubbs set off to work.

Hearing them rustling through the recycling bins looking for things to make potions out of.

Him helping Lady Baby pour water from one container to another.

Last Baby babbling, and jumping away on the exerciser I dragged out there.

The bittersweet moments that the fall will bring when I am alone in the kitchen while the babies are asleep.

Prepping dinner in the peace and quiet.

I imagine I will look over at the lego table, and feel that tinge of sadness that is attached to watching your babies grow up.

OG will not be there digging through the table giving me a play by play of what he is building.

His little voice giving me a play by play while I do anything really.

I wonder how many more summers I will have of hearing that little voice wanting to tell me every single thing that fills up his brain?

I will miss the way he sets up some crazy adventure to play with Lady Baby after nap time, and how he always tries to help unbuckle her from her car seat when we reach our destination.

I will miss  us sitting on the sofa at 2pm to watch Secrets of A Restaurant Chef.

I will miss all of it. Even the bad days. When I wanted to stab everyone in the neck with pencils.

Every season as a Mother comes with it’s own heartbreak.

Immediately after the  first tear rolls down your cheek you feel overwhelmed by gratitude that you were lucky enough to even have these moments.

It is always so amazing to me how your heart can feel so full with love, and be breaking at the same time.






On Key

Related Posts

let it flow

Day One

Every day more and more I get to know that all these memories from the beautiful, the traumatic and even the indifferent can still come with me even if I flood this valley and stop watering the flowers in vases by the graves. 

evelyn and the paper dolls

Evelyn & The Paper Dolls

Maybe being, feeling, wanting -it all ebbs and flows, so I  shouldn’t want to settle on anything.  Maybe I am Just supposed to try lots of stuff on. Opinions, thoughts, feelings, and ideas, try them on and see how they feel, and I shouldn’t let any of those be set in stone, only On paper for my big art journal or for the wall!

Jae Arel

Snowflakes are the Problem

I think Snowflakes are the Problem. I remember hearing the quote about snowflakes, you know the one that says they look the same far away,

real friends

Real Friends

My Daughter turned 10 early this year, and I noticed her start to change the way she treated her friendships. I of course turned to

Turning 40

  Turning 40 was well, I would say my welcome to the fourth floor was pretty rough. Let’s be real, every flipping welcome to adulthood