Lonely Velcro

cake Let me say that it is my Birthday week so posts might be a touch on the choppy side.

I am sorry if you miss me, but absence does make the heart grow fonder right?

Today I am heading to the beach solo with one of my favorite friends.

No kids.

Just two leo ladies soaking up some sun, on a  Winnie the Pooh blanket sipping on blueberry iced coffee.

The thought of this makes my heart ache a little.

No kids?

No fat headed bald babies to hold, no OG building forts in the sand, no Lady Baby yelling for lemonade.

No kids.

Since having more than one baby I have hated being away from the babies.

Last weekend we went to a clam bake fund raiser for Uncle Jassy’s camp.

I asked my Parents if they wanted to hang out with Last Baby for a while.

The fundraiser includes a penny social.

Ripping up millions of tickets to stick in cans would  be much easier without a baby on my chest.

I cried as soon as I shut the door to my parents apartment.

I feel like a piece of velcro.

When I am with the babies the sticky piece and the fuzzy piece are happily smushed together, but when I am away from them it feels like someone ripped us apart, and keeps rubbing my sticky side all over things that don’t stick.

I am just a lonely piece of velcro.

I want these kids to grow up and not be afraid to leave me.

I anticipate a pre teen era of life where I  become the biggest pain in their ass.

Where I lose my place in their solar system as the sun and turn into Uranus.

For now when they are little, and still think their Mama is the center of the universe I want to be with them.

Last night OG was snuggled up in my bed, and we got to talking about first grade.

We were lucky enough to have half day K last year.

I still had some special time to spend with my first baby.

This year we have our first year of a full day of school, and he is so sad.

He started crying.

He doesn’t want to spend so many hours away from us he said.

I  told him we would see how it goes.

But what I really wanted to say was if he really hates it we can just home school. 🙂

I would rather be with my babies Then do anything else, and even if I know that some time away from them is healthy I still feel like ripped open, lonely velcro.

 

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