The Lost Art of Customer Service.

whole-foods-market-storefront I have high standards, and I am not talking about leaving a grammar error undetected on the blog.

I am talking about for things that really matter.

Like Customer Service when I go shopping.

I started working at 15.

I blame My Portuguese Immigrant parents who work like dogs, and my high school bff who was a year older then me and was already working.

My first job was at Dunkin Donuts.

I looked really good in that magenta and orange.

There was a school dance one night that I had not requested off from work, but I really wanted to go. So I told my Mom that I was just going to call out so I could go.

Well………

She looked at me with her Green eyes a flarin’ and made it very clear that was unacceptable. You do not take a job and then just call out on a whim.

Cue the birth of my work ethic.

When I turned 16 I immediately went in search of a mall job, because how cool would that be!?

My first mall  job was at the Music Store in Emerald Square Mall. I felt like it was going to be exactly like Empire Records all those years ago.

I mean it was as much as it could be like Empire Records with gray polo shirt uniforms, and lanyard name tags.

I loved that job, and I loved my boss who was most certainly not the lady to mess with.

I really should take an aside right now to tell you that I deleted that comma in the last sentence several times thinking I was hitting the key with the semi colon comma, whatever that thing is called. By the seventh time I was very certain that I was not hitting the wrong button, and maybe the computer is shitting the bed?

No Janika, maybe you just need to clean your screen…..

Back to the topic at hand.

After my boss left we had a slew of lazy, err duh kinds of managers. They were fine, alright, but it was never the same.

You never felt like working your ass for them, because they never worked that hard themselves.

I ended up at Old Navy and again found myself someone worth working for.

My boss was a bad ass , and I loved him.

Hubbs worked there too, that’s where we met. He was not so much a fan, because Hubbs idea of working was asking me where something went.

I do not do lazy at work.

My idea of a dream job would be to work under someone like Gordon Ramsey who will eat your face if you give him mediocrity.

So When I go into Whole foods Cranston and get treated worse then I ever have at the DMV I can tell you that it is going to make me irate.

Whole Foods Cranston has THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE EVER!

When I first changed my store from Providence I could feel the difference right away.

It all started with the butchers.

I make my own chicken stock, and to do that I need bones. I don’t always feel like making a  whole chicken to get these bones, and Whole Foods Providence always had soup bones in the case, or they would get me some in the back while I did the remainder of my shopping.

When I asked Cranston about such things the beastly butcher told me they don’t do either of the things Providence used to for me all the while  looking at me like I must be one of those loser hipsters.

I walked away boneless, and over to the freezer case near the meat station and guess what I found?

Bones.

I emailed Whole Foods and they apologize, and offer me some plea deal gift card to make my experience ok.

I never take dirty money.

You can take your plea deal dollars and shove them up your ass.

The problem is that I had this happen to me in the first place!

I stopped buying meat there, but I still need things from Whole Foods that I cannot get at other places like the yummiest peanut butter ever, and organic apples that don’t come in a bag.

The year kept rolling by and my disdain for this store kept growing.

I am not too sure what kind of training these people are offered in regards to customer service, but it is not working in this store.

For instance, there is a cashier  who walks around looking a touch like Jesus, but lacks any of his personality traits. Of coarse this guy is a cashier, because who doesn’t love a personality-less cashier?

He literally grunts at you when you cash out…..

Seriously!?

Sometimes I feel like I”m on an episode of Punked.

The Other day the last straw went down.

I went to buy fish.

The fish guy is always less then pleasant, but today he was on a mission to win  the dick head of the day award.

I ask him to debone the fish.

He looks at me like I asked him to take his mother off life support.

Then he tells me that he cannot guarantee the fish will be completely free of bones I should get a tail end.

I tell him any piece will be fine I will double check at home. He rolls his eyes and walks away.

The best part was he was training someone….

Oh yeah that is the perfect person to train a new employee. Please continue teaching your culture of treating the customers like an inconvenience.

I have bought many pieces of salmon from Whole Foods.

I get they cannot guarantee the bone thing. When I get home I check myself and usually find a bone or two.

Well that day I found 8.

Thanks Homie.

What is the most confusing in these situations is I am cute, bubbly, and polite. Why I get treated like the kind of customer who makes you dig through  clearance racks for a size 18 pair of jeans that cost $3.97 I have no idea.

I email whole foods.

And they send me a generic we are so sorry email with even more dirty money this time to make me happy.

No.

I do not want a gift card to soothe the wounds of how disgusting the customer service at this store is. I want someone to stand up and make it better. Stop hiring shitty people, or get better managers so maybe the employees don’t walk around like a rain cloud of shit is following them around their work day.

Spend the dirty customer service issue gift cards on some team building.

Spread some fucking sunshine in the work place.

I have no idea how I am going to make the trip back to Providence for apples and peanut butter every week with the kids in tow, but I am too self righteous to give Whole Foods Cranston any more of my money.

However,I am more than a little excited to see my favorite Cashier and Butcher. Who would gladly find me bones, and grind a cut of meat for me without looking at me like a hairy armpitted hippie.

We vote with our dollars everyday. Don’t let this standard of customer service be acceptable.

I am all done being reminded why I love shopping online.

We need a Revolution in the service industry. This shouldn’t be normal. We should have relationships with the people we see every week when we are shopping for something as intimate as our food. If we allow this crass version of service to continue it will be another heart break for American Culture.

**If anyone from Whole Foods Cranston is reading this Who works in the Deli, and the Cheese Section know I am not talking about you. You guys have always been the bright spot I save for last so going to the cash wrap isn’t so disheartening.

Be the change you want to see in the world homies, and stop bullshit service!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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