A Few Things Jesus Would Find More Offensive than Same Sex Marriage.

Rainbow_flag_breeze I grew up really really Catholic.

Im not talking about the occasional church goer catholic.

I was an alter girl, I went to Catholic school until 12th grade,I went to church everyday during lent, Once a year my Grandmother has a big gold crown and dove septor visit her home for a week.

It is deemed the holy spirt, blessed and all the little old Portuguese ladies, and their daughters, and my poor Father who is always dragged to everything pray the rosary around it every night at 7pm.

If we were judging Jesus on character traits we learned in the bible we would know he was the son of God come here to cleanse the world of our sins, he was very tolerant, and he liked wine.

So here is my list of things I think he would find more offensive than gay marriage.


Growing up a sneel would get you a serious Portagee pinch.

This pinch is not a normal pinch. It is a pinch right at the spot where your armpit meets your arm.

My Mother would do this to anyone.

One of my favorite parts of mass other than the sign of peace was watching my Mothers lips turn up in disgust as she watched the person in front of her stick there ass on the pew during a kneeling part of mass.

This man you came to worship was nailed to a cross and left to die in the sweltering sun, and your lazy ass cannot kneel correctly!?!?

Get your ass off the pew.

2. Not Paying attention to the Planet

This concept reminds me of my teen age bedroom.

You throw so many articles of clothing on the floor that you can’t see it ,but you know its there.

We all know the Earth is there.

We are on it for God sake, but we just keep piling shit on top of it without a care in the world.

As if we can just pick up all the debris later.

You keep tossing your fast food wrappers, and all other forms of dirty litter out the window onto his Planet.

I am sure he thinks so fondly of you for taking such good care of the thing he died to protect.

3. Teaching intolerance.

This guy stopped hookers from being stoned, cured lepers, and thanked the guy who helped him carry his cross up the hill where he would die….

but, you can’t tolerate same sex marriage?

Jesus himself was killed because of intolerant people.

Jesus would not be speaking against marriage equality.

If  he were alive today  we could have found him running the campaign to stop killing the bees.

Without bees we are all dead.

Lets stop worrying about things that cause no harm to anyone, and start worrying about us not having a planet to be so intolerant on.Buddy_christ




On Key

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