You’re Pretty.

princessI can’t understand the attack on Princesses in our modern girl raising times.

I get that we want our girls to grow into strong, smart capable woman. What I don’t get is how princess became a bad word at the same time.

Watching the Disney princesses evolve from Cinderella to Moana has been one of my greatest joys.

It is not Cinderellas fault that she was considered a damsel. She was a product of the times. Instead of focusing on Cindy’s obscene kindness towards her wicked stepmother and soft nature towards woodland creatures we cringe at her walking away with some prince into happily ever after?

Listen I am going to be as truthful as I can be with all of you because you deserve to know what is attainable. Fairy tales- they do exist I get to live one every day with a real prince charming who would have torn the village down looking for me with only an abandoned glass slipper as his cue. I may lack the amazing ball gowns and animal sidekick but yoga pants and a brood of kids are fine substitutes.

These girls every single one of them who was “rescued” by a prince shared attributes like, graciousness, kindness, and self-preservation. Snow White, for example- running away scared out of her incompetent mind to keep her heart intact.  That poor kid had no idea what she was going to do, but she was trying to stay alive. Poor sleeping Beauty gets the worst of it, as if this chick knew she was going to be woken by true loves first kiss? The girl was under a magic spell people. Cut her some slack.

Abandoning these fairy tale princesses to try and make our girls strong just cuts them off from the soft side of bravery. Being brave isn’t always about tackling bears and bringing down the government. ( I love you Katniss 4-ever) Sometimes being brave means letting someone see all of you so they can remind you to wake up and start being real. How about being brave might mean finding the good in the worst situation, because I don’t know about you but If I were Cinderella I would have my rat friends eat my evil step sisters while the slept in their cushy ass beds……Instead, she was kind to them!

Growing up I wanted so much to be a princess, but I never felt pretty enough. I was a chubby kid with a school bully who had a forehead the size of my ass. I thought only girls like that heartless six-year-old and her minion crotch squad could be princesses.

In hindsight, I see that I was always the real princess in that situation. The common thread between the Disney crew is that they were all kind, and full of goodness amidst being terrorized by villans. I was a sweet kid who most cetainly did not deserve to be mooed at throughout grade school.

Now I raise a daughter in a world that says don’t say a girls pretty and for the love of god be a super hero amongst these princesses. In hoping to change the way women see themselves as grown ups we are just pushing a new agenda on them.

My Lady Baby she’s a princess. Born for the job really,  sweet, thoughtful, trusting and in love with the biggest pinkest dresses she can find and already knows she wants to marry John Cena one day. I will never tell her she’s wrong even though someone out there thinks I am raising a basic bitch because she loves what she loves.

The thing is we need to teach our girls that they are pretty because the world is not changing so fast that we can avoid the pitfall of being judged for appearances. We need to tell them that everyone is beautiful because beauty is a perception, not a reality.

What is pretty to you is not always pretty to everyone else is a line I use on a regular. We have to be honest with our kids instead of trying to push a fairy tale onto them about how they will be measured in the real world by inconsiderate crews of mean girls. Let me tell you the beast who tormented me did not care that my Mom thought I was smart and creative. She only cared that I was fat and that was not pretty.

To win the battle we have to play the long game. We have to disarm the weapons of people playing small. We worry so much about fairy tales being about needy girls who need help and only care about falling in love, but I wish we could stop and see that those two points are still very important. Everyone is needy and everyone wants to be in love.

OUR ENTIRE REASON FOR BEING HERE IS FOR LOVE!

I am grateful for a shift away from romantic love, but without Disney I would have never known to keep looking for the love who would slay dragons for me to spend a lifetime with. I might have settled for less if I didn’t watch Ariel fight so hard for Eric. I want these kids to fall in love with everything. Not act like they don’t need anyone for anything because they are so smart…….

I will not avoid telling my daughter she is pretty. I will explain to her what being pretty means. You got some good genetics kid, and don’t get mad when someone doesn’t think so because opinions are like assholes, and everybody’s got one… I mean really there is someone out there in the world who thinks Morris Chestnut is not Gods gift to the world. In my opinion that bitch is tripping on some bad mushrooms, but hey everyone is entitled to an opinion… even if it is crazy.

I will teach her to not let other people’s opinions alter her own because throughout her life she will hear so much noise and she will always have to turn inside to find out what is real. I will tell her to rock on with her pink poofy ass dress wearing self and to not let anyone ever make her apologize for being so sparkly or princessie.

We are harpies on being weak these days when you are a girl, but let me ask you how well has that worked out for the boys? These poor boys generation after generation suffering for not being able to be a person who can’t carry the world on their shoulders. Not only do we require a woman to be gorgeous these days but we require her to not need any help.

We all need help. We all like to be rescued sometimes. Rescued by a smile from a fellow mother beefing with a toddler during the witching hour in the aisles at target, by a kind gesture, by a friends surprise visit, or just by something so simple as a touch on the shoulder by someone we love when we are falling apart.

What is so bad about being rescued? What is so bad about loves true kiss?

If you’re a cynic of all this you are probably my elementary school bully. You can keep measuring yourself worth by the stones of your kitchen countertops.  But if you are a cynic because you were the poor kid who grew up on the end of your own bully. I hope one day you find that sparkle again because no one had the right to drown it out of you. You were always enough you just had to stop measuring yourself against assholes.

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