Yes, I Did Just Call You Fat.

rachel-taylor-01-320 Have you seen it yet? The Old Navy fat shaming story.

Well if you missed it you can read it here,  but I will recap.

Rachel Taylor a plus sized girl is shopping for a tank top to celebrate the 4th of July.

She is shopping at a messy table in between a Senior and junior mean girl, when junior says.

“OMG Mom, look how big this tank top is!? I could fit in this thing with two of my acronym abusing friends!”

Rachel throws the tank top down and cries her way out of the store.

After she calms herself down she goes back into the store to buy her American Independence shirt (which was made in Indonesia) and selfies in the dressing room.

This concept of “shaming” is contributing to our collective lack of accountability.

The main issue here is that unless the person felt ashamed in the first place there would be no way to put shame on them.

If you are ashamed of your truth then you should handle it.

If you walked into a hoarders house,  had to step over a dead cat, and walk by a few urine filled two liters and you say something like

“Oh my god your house is DISGUSTING!

are you dirty house shaming?

We keep putting labels on people observing truths.

If I am in the store and a teenage girl says to her Mother.

“Mom, OMG I think a family of chipmunks could make a home under that woman’s back fat!”

That statement would be true, and kind of hilarious, but it wouldn’t make me feel bad about myself.

No one can make someone else feel anything.

You had to of felt bad about yourself before someone made a comment.

The blame here is constantly on the people doing the observing.

We say things like be kind, while we watch  endless hours of reality smut like Basketball Wives.

As if we are a culture of kindness? the whole do as I say not as I do comes to mind here.

We want everyone to be kind, but as a culture we do everything to prevent kindness from being a major priority.

The focus has to be on the people who allow themselves to feel bad about what other people are saying about them.

Rachel Taylor did that after she let herself feel terrible for feeling inadequate.

Good for you for  getting your shit together and going into buy that tank top, but feeling bad about two woman commenting on the size of a tank top is the problem.

You should have asked them to test out how many people could really fit in the size the teen held up, just to make sure you knew what size to get.

Taunting is a power play. People say mean shit to weak minded people.

It makes them feel better about themselves, but when the expected response is not crying, but a witty slap in the face it turns the tables.

Every time I make a comment about myself being fat it is always met with

“Oh no Janika, you are so beautiful.”

Yes I am fat, and  I never said anything about being ugly.

I said I was fat.

I settled down with this truth ages ago.

I am fat. That is a fact.

If I am out in a public place and it gets noticed there is nothing that can be said to make me cry.

I do not give my power away.

We need to stop teaching body loving, and fat shaming and start dealing in Truths.

Accept what is, and stop being pissed off when the world notices what you brought it.

tyrion lanister quotes



On Key

Related Posts

let it flow

Day One

Every day more and more I get to know that all these memories from the beautiful, the traumatic and even the indifferent can still come with me even if I flood this valley and stop watering the flowers in vases by the graves. 

evelyn and the paper dolls

Evelyn & The Paper Dolls

Maybe being, feeling, wanting -it all ebbs and flows, so I  shouldn’t want to settle on anything.  Maybe I am Just supposed to try lots of stuff on. Opinions, thoughts, feelings, and ideas, try them on and see how they feel, and I shouldn’t let any of those be set in stone, only On paper for my big art journal or for the wall!

Jae Arel

Snowflakes are the Problem

I think Snowflakes are the Problem. I remember hearing the quote about snowflakes, you know the one that says they look the same far away,

real friends

Real Friends

My Daughter turned 10 early this year, and I noticed her start to change the way she treated her friendships. I of course turned to

Turning 40

  Turning 40 was well, I would say my welcome to the fourth floor was pretty rough. Let’s be real, every flipping welcome to adulthood