People who know me in day to day life will read that last part, and think I am insane.
They will think it isn’t true, but it is.
I am wicked lazy.
Most days I would rather not have to leave the bed.
Especially if there is a baby in it.
Babies in the bed are my favorite thing ever in the whole world.
All it takes is the suggestion of a baby nap, and bang there goes the productive day I was thinking of having.
Unfortunately, the baby naps aren’t the reason that I’m lazy.
I am sure there is a vast number of reasons why I’m lazy, but I haven’t figured them all out yet.
One of the ones I have figured out is no one expects me to do anything else.
They see the house decently kept, the kids fed with dinners made from scratch, and think I am so accomplished.
Always asking me where I find the time.
If they only knew there are so many things I am trying to accomplish that didn’t make the cut.
Like that novel that is almost done, those invitations I wanted to try and make, The 20,000 step goal I felt like achieving, the tops of the door ways that really, really, really need to be dusted.
All left undone.
The Hubbs would never in a million years mention to me that I have been spending too much time in my bed watching Food network. He would never tell me not to shove that whatever it is in the fridge that just put me over my calorie limit for the day in my mouth.
Hubbs is too nice.
He says it is unfair to ask me to do anything else, because I do so much.
Apparently the only person I do not have fooled is myself, and My Mother who comes in the house and tells me that my fan in the entry way is so dusty she can actually see the dust mites colonizing. The problem with this other person being my Mother is I can never tell if she is calling me out on my shit to remind me to get it together or to be a douche bag.
Please do not confuse this with the need for acceptance we see in so many posts about woman who feel less than.
I never feel less than.
I feel lazy.
I hate those posts that tell me it’s ok to feel any way that I’m feeling.
I know it’s ok to feel angry, lazy and every other emotion that surges around in my brain. I watched Punky Brewster, and the original 90210.
But, how do I change it?
We never get to that step. Those posts send the message that If you just say it’s ok then you don’t have to worry about doing them. The acceptance makes everything all better.
That is not enough for me.
If I ever figure it out I promise to share it with you. <3