I learned something very valuable from this years birthday.
I learned that blogging is self care.
I have this aversion to writing.
Like I was always meant to do it, but it seems so scary.
I tell myself a million excuses as to why I just can’t simply sit down and write.
I have no time.
I use the word like too much.
There will be grammar errors.
When I’m writing it feels like who I’m meant to be.
My favorite question in the world happens to be, why are we all so resistant to happiness?
This past week I could feel the insecurity building up inside my shoulder blades.
I can feel it expanding it’s way into my chest.
I wonder how there can always be such a dramatic fight happening somewhere in my subconscious, but Im just walking around like everything is calm and collected.
There are these versions of myself experiencing a natural disaster.
Everything violently crashing, and swirling around everywhere.
There I am just standing there ,as if everything is sprinkled with happy sunshine sparkles.
When you thrive in chaos people often think you are some kind of anomaly.
They think nothing bothers you.
You must never be sad.
The truth is I just shit my self conscious pants, but the version of myself who captains the ship knows the storms will rage, and I will just keep hanging on.
The world has lessons to teach me.
Writing the blog, writing anything really keeps me on the road I am trying to pave to who I want to be when I grow up.
I wonder why it has to be such a struggle.
Why does reaching your full potential. ( Sensei Wu voice) have to feel like you are crawling your way out from underneath something before you even see the starting line?
It’s been an insightful few days my darlings.
I am going to go blast some Wilson Philips and make leftovers into a culinary masterpiece.