Yesterday at Gymboree a tiny wide eyed little toddler came fumbling over to where Last Baby and I were watching Lady Baby and Hubbs partake in a class about mail. She gave me a timid little smile and then looked over at Last Baby, and touched his toes. Her Mom was not far behind her. She had that ever so common look of beauty and tiered that most Moms do. She looked pregnant, but I was not going to ask. You never know my friends. You never know.
I asked how old her daughter was and she told me she would turn two in August. Being an August baby myself I always get really excited when I meet the next generation of leos. She told me she had said no more babies after her daughter , but that had not worked out so well. I saw the look in her eye. The same one I had when I found out that Last baby had put down roots in my womb. That:
“FUCK ME! I AM GOING TO HAVE TWO KIDS TWO YEARS APART!”
In truth this has always been one of my nightmares. Remember, I am an only child. AN ONLY CHILD!
I remember walking in to Target with my preschooler and my newborn and feeling relief that I would never be that Mother fumbling around for a toddler hand while carrying an infant carrier. Nope not me. I would never have a newborn during my two year olds most sensitive time of ego development. Besides, how in Gods holy name are you supposed to grocery shop with two kids in the carriage!?
I tried really hard from the beginning to let Lady Baby in on what was going to happen to our life. We constantly talked about baby brother. How he would need things, and cry, and Mama would have to take care of him. It was exactly what I did with OG baby when I was pregnant with Lady Baby. It had worked beautifully for them. OG felt like Lady was his baby. He did suffer through a week of feeling jealous, but I had told him that would be coming for him so he wasn’t so surprised when he started to feel that way.
Lady Baby has no concept of jealously, but I told her anyway. I told her sometimes he might feel sad that Mama has to help the baby. The strange thing is she never did. We brought home Last Baby and she wanted to hold him, feed him, and then not bother with him. I spent months agonizing over bringing a new baby home during such a pivotal time in her development, and she just kept on rolling like we had gotten a new hamster.
I think it is important to tell kids that they should expect to feel a mixed bag of emotions when a new sibling comes home. They may not understand you at the time, but you are teaching them emotional maturity. Giving them a voice to the emotions twirling around in their soul.
Children are just people. They have to start somewhere when it comes to learning about life. Not just the color and shapes of life but the way life makes you feel, and what you can do about that.
Shopping with these two babies sucks. I wont sugar coat that for you. Last Baby sits in the main part of the carriage surrounded by oranges, eggs, and kale, while Lady Baby munches an apple and whatever else she can get her paws on in the front. The worst part is getting all the bags to the car! The items just fit around the babies in the carriage, but now they are all in bags and those bags have no where to go!
Running errands is also a shit show. Lugging two kids in and out of the car is terrible. Two kids in diapers is not as annoying as I thought it would be, but I do find that I need to remind myself that I really do have two babies.
These things are shitty, but what is not shitty is swinging them side by side at the park, playing play dough outside on the deck, cooking with two little helpers, and nap time at the same time.
I look forward to them growing up side by side. One not to far behind the other. I look forward to the days spent in some imaginary land, and the fights that will come with it. It has not been so bad having two kids two years apart so far. Maybe I will change my tune when they are both in high school, but for now we are happily fumbling along.