So many of my loves are getting engaged.I went in search of my engagement ring from the rush of nostalgia it has all brought on.
In a week or so I will celebrate my 8th marriage anniversary.I know to all the 15 plus year people you are rolling your eyes, like” Ohhh 8 years what a big deal.”
Well, It has only been 8 years, and since I have no intention of rushing time just to say I have more years of marriage under my belt I am just going to be happy that our marriage has sustained 8 years, and we are still madly in love.
With all this talk of weddings, and more over the moon excitement that I am going to be the older cousins M.O.H. A job I was born to do.I want to share with you my wedding advice that you cannot find on the knot.
***The thing about weddings is- they have the power to suck your soul out in the planning process.
There you are looking beautiful in the most perfect dress feeling like you just barley survived a round with a Dementor.
1. Know who you are having a wedding for.
If you are paying for your own wedding then you do what the fuck you want.
DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES START DOING THINGS TO MAKE YOUR FAMILY HAPPY.
I am not talking about lame shit like a unity candle.
I am talking about things that matter to you.
Changing location because someone won’t go that far, getting married in a church when you are not even sure about your own religion, inviting someone you really don’t want to invite, but fear the backlash of leaving them out.
Here is the thing about weddings on your dollar.
They are YOURS! .
You are going to pay 12,000 plus dollars for something, and then sacrifice things you want to accommodate your guests?
I am so confused by this.
You would not find your dream home, and then start mentally tearing it down because it is too far for your relatives to visit, or your mom won’t like the kitchen so you better pass on this one.
If making everyone else happy is the goal then you should vote for a the cheapest party you can throw in one of your friends big back yards.
If you have a wedding for someone else it will only leave you depleted, miserable, and with a strong case of buyers remorse.
In most cases you will not make up the money you spent.
Weddings were not always like this.
Why would they be!?
A new couple has a wedding to help them start out their lives not spend as much money as a down payment on a starter home to only be left with enough money to buy a flat screen TV.
If you are lucky enough to have parents who are paying for this out of control expensive party then you have to kiss their ass and accommodate their wishes, but I mean they are giving you a 12,000 dollar party so suck it up buttercup.
2. Pick your bridal party with your head and not your heart.
The first thing we do when we get married is think of all the girls we want standing around us as our brides maids.
Our old friends, our new friends, our family.
Heres the thing.
A brides maid has more responsibility then just standing their looking fine as hell in a pretty dress.
They have time to give you, and money to spend.
If they cannot commit to those two things then they would make a better guest.
You need the people standing beside you that you would want next to you during the zombie apocalypse, because let me tell you sometimes it is going to feel like you woke up and the entire world is full of the flesh lusting undead.
It is 2015 ,so if your most reliable,always has your back bestie is a boy then make the man of honor the new normal.
This is not 1970.
You are spending ridiculous amounts of your own time and money to think and purchase things like seating charts, and chair covers.
If that alone does not make your heart ache it will surely be sobbing when you have a bunch of brides maids who are selfish and or oblivious.
You need help.
You also need people who will do the things for you that you deserve.
Like a beautiful shower, and a wonderful bachelorette party where you do not have to buy all your own drinks.
You deserve that, and have the right to ask for it.
I love a good party.
I love Weddings of all kinds.
I have become a big fan of the small ceremony, big catered back yard party, and destination weddings.
They get back to the heart of what weddings are for.
To celebrate a love beginning it’s journey as Mr. and Mrs.
Stay strong future brides <3