“8 Toxic People to Remove From Your Life.” I can save you the trouble of reading it and let you know the count down.
1. Judgmental people
2. Envious people
3. Control Freaks
4. Arrogant People
5. People who love to be the Victim
6. Negative Nancies
Now these articles get on my nerves for a little more than the fact that they are just on the internet to create content to drive SEO. I am annoyed because… DUH.
How about someone tell me what to do when toxic ass people are your family. You know the people your soul chose to be with in this lifetime for some glorious, important, karma fulfilling purpose.
The truth is sometimes in life you are saddled up with mean people.
Shit my kids even make this list.
“OG did you throw the poop that uncle Jassy was picking up off his shovel and onto Papas side of the yard?!?!”
His big brown doe eyes stare back at me “No.”
Oh sorry little liar you are toxic to me, away with you.
Right. That doesn’t work. Neither does disowning your favorite Grandmother because she points out that your back fat is looking on point lately.
Sometimes it is impossible to remove people, and not because you’re being a victim.
I was born into a polar vortex of families. Sometimes after a holiday season spent with them I find myself staring down two pizzas, and have no idea why the boxes are empty.
People can only give you what they have for themselves. So when people are mean, gossiping about each other in hushed tones, having a general attitude of Grumpy Bear, complaining about food quality instead of saying Thank You, and most importantly acting like they have no power to control any of it I remember that all that mess is just a sad reflection of how they feel on the inside. So I smile and spread cheer, because thats what I have inside me, and no matter how miserable everyone else is I am not going to let go of the music in me.
I remember one Thanksgiving in my early twenties I walked out of family dinner, and had to drive around for two hours and cry. Negative energy takes something from you, but I was meant to deal with it, and It has certainly benefited my life. I never take anything personally anymore, and I know this lesson would not have been learned if it wasn’t for many holidays spent in the icy conditions.
Obviously this is not a perfect philosophy in handling people who suck out your energy field, because I still find myself being a self hater and making bad choices after its over, but its a real one.
I’m not telling you to dump your Mother, bring back the kid you adopted, because they meet all the requirements of being a “toxic person”,or remove the experiences of an extended family from your child. I am telling you that you have to find your compassion, and most importantly you have to understand they are in your life for a reason, and every single person you meet has something to teach you.
Their behavior is never about you. It’s about them. No matter how much it stings just remember you could live in their head.