Gordon Ramsey: Man Crush Monday


gordonramsay

Todays Man Crush Monday is not delicious because he’s sexy as hell, although some people may find Gordon Ramsey to be sexy as hell. I just happen to think he looks like a Sharpei.

I LOVE Ramsey’s TV personality.

I have no idea what the man is like in real life, but his impeccable standards and lack of patience for people who do not follow them on his shows leaves me in love every single time I watch him.

I first fell in love with Ramsey watching Kitchen Nightmares on BBC. Not the American ones. Those suck in comparison to the originals. I could not get enough. I still can’t really. I will watch Ramsey do anything.

His bitter outrage that someone would actually keep their restaurant in such a dirty dissary. His absolute disbelief that a dining room can be so dirty. His need to order shell fish even though he just saw a roach burrow away in the liner of the booth seat. His fearlessness to put his hand in a disgusting, putrid, rancid decaying bin of food he finds in the filthy fridges.

I love his hand to forehead OMG this person cannot be this stupid gesture.

He can always bring  a bright spot to my day.

When he finds a raw dish on Hells Kitchen my lips turn up with absolute pleasure.

The tossing  of the silver plate like it is made of paper. After the clank of the plate against the counter you here him scream for everyone to gather around him, while he shoves his finger into the center of some poor dead piece of animal carcass. His subsequent huff, arms flapping heavily by his side. The “Oh God.” The the final toss of the food into the garbage is always perfection.

Ramsey is my spirit animal.

ramsey

In my own head I  have over the top, dramatic reactions when peoples standards are so subpar that you have to really ask yourself if it’s real or are you being punked?

Ramsey voice is my inner voice.

When I do something that does not meet my own standards, but try to pass it off anyway. I can here a manly British accent in the back of my mind swearing at me irately to stop being an oblivious asshole.

I do not pour sugar over my errors.

Even if you dip a piece of shit in glitter it is still shit just sparkly shit.

I can appreciate Ramsey flipping out on some dirty restaurant owner who really has the audacity to ask why no one is eating at their rat hole establishment.

If someone calling out people lying to themselves is not your style you can still watch Master Chef.

He barely ever yells on that show. Every once in a while you get a disappointed “Damn”,  but most of them time he is a bubbling over with enthusiasm. Once a week after the other kids are in bed  OG Baby  brings his ratty Bunny and his water bottle to my room and we have our weekly Master Chef night. Every time he tells me Gordon is his favorite judge I can’t help but smile.

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