6 Things That You Miss When You Have Lots Of Kids.


1. Tv binging on the sofa half naked surrounded by snacks.

The Hubbs and I are counting down the days until Orange is the New Black season three is ready to stream.

We will have to watch it in broken pieces on the nights that there isn’t work to do, or I don’t fall asleep by the time I tuck in the last of the brood.

Then we will laugh about it in the morning when we have only gotten through half an episode. We will talk about when we were “single” and could spend an entire weekend doing nothing.

(I use the term single in reference to us married, but childless.)

2. Impulsively deciding to go out on a date.

Shit, I consider a “date night” with the Hubbs a Target run with half the kids.

Every Spring the cool air rubs against my face with the memories of those times when Hubbs and I could drive to New York in the middle of the day for no other reason then we could. It is damn near impossible to get someone to watch all 4 of these minions. I am an only child. As much as My Mom loves my kids she is overwhelmed with the volume.

3. Spending an entire day curled up on the sofa reading.

I am a bookworm. I LOVE TO READ!

I still get a substantial number of books accomplished, I am in a book club with some fabulous ladies,and audio books have saved my life, but I can still feel the burning desire every time it rains to lay around and get lost in a book.

4.  Going out to Eat.

Even the most family friendly places are a challenge when you have a brood in tow. The shear amount of things to bring with you is enough to change your mind, but if you’re really brave just know that as soon as the waiter puts your cold, frothy, longed for draft beer in front of you one of your children will figure out how to spill a drink that had a lid on it.

Even worse is the bill! It will cost you a third of your grocery bill for this adventure. The buyers remorse will eat you up the entire next day.

5. Visiting Friends and Family.

The thought of going into a visit at a non child household is as appealing as spending some time lost at sea.

Chasing after a toddler who at any point can fall down an un gated stairwell, break rows of treasured knick knacks, or crack their head open on a fire place is a debbie downer, but not as annoying as the older kids who are BORED and sighing every five minutes as if you did not understand it the first time.

To visit one of your people who is childless you need supplies, and the right kind of host. Some people who have never had kids are oblivious, and they should be they don’t have to worry about what happens when children grow idle. They give you the stank eye every time you jump to save a bumbling toddler, rock a new baby, or answer a crazy ass question your six year old just thought to ask in the middle of your conversation.

In this area of my life I am blessed to have  many friends who want to involve the kids, and work a visit out in between my pain in the ass schedule. You have to make your life this way while you’re raising babies. If someone is disinterested in the kids then you move on and stick with the ones who make time for your entire family.

You have to know where to put people in your life.

6. Two Loads of Laundry.

Hahahahahahaha. I can hear myself bitching about our two measly loads of single people laundry.

I have two loads of laundry sitting on my bookshelf right now waiting to be put away.

I hear people say they are too selfish to have kids.

I get that. Some people are too selfish, and kids are not for everybody.

They are the ultimate consumers of your life. They will demand your time, sleep, money. They take all of you all the time.

I do happen to know a few people on the fence about having kids, and the one thing that holds them back is fear.

These of coarse are always some of the best people I know. Afraid of failing at motherhood,not knowing that would be impossible because they have so much love in their souls I can feel it wash over me through a text message.

For those people let me tell you how these 6 things you will miss are only temporary.

One day these kids will smell like grown ups, hide condoms in underwear draws, and spend all day locked away brooding in their rooms.

Leaving all the time in the world for you to read, and binge watch Netflix.

They will go on to live a life of their own bringing your laundry back to two loads, and trips across state lines whenever the whim hits you.

You will again be free.

I used to see the world in neon and black. Kids added pastels to the color of my life.

I know every day that these are the times of my life.

The sweet smile of an infant, the bounce in my toddlers step as she recants the day in broken english, the toothless grin of a six year old getting ready to graduate Kindergarten. A sixth grader getting ready to fall off the cliff of childhood into the tunnel of stupidity that adolescents brings.

These are the times I will smile about as Hubbs and I drive off into our own adventures.

I will tell you that folding little kids clothes is my favorite.
I love to hold the tiny pajamas and inhale the moments.

Watching my wooden bookshelf become a clothes line. Filled up from corner to corner with kid stuff.

Every single thing I miss about being “single” will never compare to what I will miss once my kids are older.

When I get cranky for  those days when my only responsibility was to open my eyes I remind myself that I will get them back one day, but these days spent with them are a limited edition.


On Key

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