You’re an Asshole

*DISCLAIMER:  Todays post is vulgar. It is also judgmental, self righteous and angry. Enjoy



Today I decided to take Lady Baby to the older kid play and learn class. She is just on the cusp of leveling up, and I wanted to see how she would do. As I pulled the door open to let her run in I saw Cell Phone Dad and his nightmare child.

I have written about  Cell Phone Dad before.

His phone is permanently glued to his hand, and it only goes in his pocket when he is taking a cigarette break outside. Leaving his behavioral nightmare child inside to be supervised by the staff.

My first thought was to leave.  I had an errand to run, and the baby was asleep so it was a perfect time to go, but Lady Baby was already sitting on the long white plastic bench waiting for me to take her shoes off.

My kid got whacked today with a plastic tube that was being used as pretend fire wood. Todays theme for class was camping. .


It is one of those situations where someone will say;

“Well you can’t blame the kids.”

No you can’t, but I can tell my daughter that the kid is a brat, and she should steer clear of the little terror.

It happened when I was getting the baby out of his car seat.  Robbing me of my initial fury that would burst the cap to my anger off. Allowing my rage to bubble out of my mouth. I turned around for a moment and all the sudden I hear her crying more form offense then the actual boo boo.

A normal parent would apologies for an almost three year old who uses grunting as a language.  The Parent would feel embarrassed, almost horrified that their kid wound back and whacked someone else with an object.

Sure, but Cell Phone Dad is a waste of space so he did what most wastes of space do.


I took a deep breath and held my little girl. Willing the bile rising into my throat to settle. I should have known when I walked in to the class that this would happen. I spend every minute of free play steering her away from this kid, because it is only a matter of time before he takes his frustration out on some kid who actually has a parent who gives a shit.

So I rolled my eyes, and kept her at arms length the rest of class.

On the way home an idiot tried to move into my lane with no directional. As if  I am supposed to read minds, and know what the fuck they are trying to do.

It is apparently a day to be annoyed by inconsiderate people.

My annoyance is only even a problem because you expect people to not be such filthy assholes.

I have decided next time this kid assaults my child I will tell Cell Phone Dad that he sucks at life.

To put  the goddamn phone  away, and take care of your child before they take up residency at the ACI.

The most ironic part of  today was when we were packing up to leave.

Lady Baby wanting to keep playing. Creeping her way back to the mat. I sternly called her name, and she marched back to the bench for her shoes. The teacher saying what a good listener she was.

Yes she is, because WE REQUIRE IT!!

I get that kids are inherently good. I myself have a a child who was rescued from a life of asshole parents. When he came to live with us he had a past that included stabbing kids with pencils, police called,  and institutionalization. He is now a sweet thoughtful kid who has exemplary behavior in school. When teachers find out about his past they sit there mouths open for several silent minutes.

I get that it is the environment, but I don’t give a fuck.

So next time Cell Phone Dads kid throws something at my kid, or my baby in his car seat I am going to call him a piece of shit, because I am sick and tiered of shitty parents bringing their shitty kids around the world.

Granted it won’t change anything.

It will make my poor husband feel super awkward when he encounters Cell Phone Dad,but I will sure as hell feel better.



On Key

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