This Girl Talks Wrestling.


One of the things people find most surprising about me is my adoration for professional wrestling. I was introduced to it by my parents who never missed a PPV, and it just stuck.

I mean really every hypothetical famous person fantasy I have ever had centers around me as wrestler.  Her name is Faith, and she is originally the Undertaker and Kanes little sister. She has the LONGEST ring jacket ever, comes out to Eminem’s “Till I Collapse” and sleeps with Randy Orton.

The first man to ever really break my heart, and send seven-year-old Janika into a sobbing fit was Hulk Hogan. He lost a match to the Ultimate Warrior so he could go on a show businesses hiatus. Seriously, I sobbed so hard in the bath tub my Mom wrote Vince McMahon an angry letter.  I never did forgive Hulk Hogan for leaving me, but soon The Undertaker would come around and mend my broken heart.

My red and yellow teddy bear was replaced by one dressed in a trench coat and black hat.  My love for The Undertaker has been constant through all the other great wrestling loves that I have had. He was the one to pull me from heartache and so, I hold a special place in my wrestling heart for him. Although, this love is dwindling as he gets way TO OLD TO WRESTLE ANYMORE.  (please, lets be real about how tired he looked at Wrestlemania against Shane.)

Wrestling is something my perverted self will never really give up. I mean it only takes one look at Randy Orton from the ground up POV to understand why any woman or lover of the male species should be watching wrestling. Fine ass dudes in spandex panties.

Yes, please, and thank you.

I love Wrestling so much OG’s middle name is Hardy, Jeff not Matt.

But, I am a girl. I am a girl who loves girls because I know that girls are better than boys.

I have lived through decades of SHIT from WWE womans wreslting. From mud matches to a god damn butterfly on the woman’s title.

I have waited so long for a period of time when woman would be allowed to be more than their good looks. The last time it happened was Lita. She was there and the sky opened up and sang. Then Trish stepped up and turned her sex appeal persona into the most inspirational woman in wrestling to date. It was the golden age of women’s wrestling. We had woman with clothes on kicking ass. We still had mud fights, but we had woman with respect for the buisness, for the legacy, for the movement.

Then it was over…….

I have been away from WWE for seven years. I’ve paid a little attention to what was happening, but I was not staying up on Mondays to watch Raw until 11pm just to see girls in skank bot personas skip around the ring and look sloppy. A girl can only live on Randy Orton crotch shots for so long.

Then I caught a glimpse of Sasha Banks.

I kept watching and met this entourage of girls who know how to put on a match. A real match with sequences that are fluid, and moves I  haven’t seen from girls ever. I could feel myself fighting back some tears.  All that hope that died when Trish and Lita left came creeping out of it’s hiding spot. Maybe this time, wrestling fans get to have a woman’s division that means something.

I am going to ride this one, but I am not going all in. I may have cried tears of joy when Lita held up the new Woman’s title but,this is WWE after all. Just when you think it’s safe to be happy they take it away.

Right now I am just going to be grateful. I am so thankful to  have a woman’s division that I am proud to show my babies.

Thank You.


On Key

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