I love my Fitbit.

I am really good at taking steps.

Most weeks a group of us do a work week hustle. The point is to see who takes the most steps in a work week.

This week has been a tight race for first.

Yesterday OG had his first grade meet and greet. After wards a group of first grade Moms got together and went to the beach.  

OG is still too small to be trusted swimming in the ocean alone so I took off my fit bit, and swam away with all the kids.

I  was pained to take my fit bit off and lose 4 hours of steps when the race for first was that close.

When I got home it was dinner, and bed time.

I was exhausted.

The night before I woke up to pee at 3:30am, and couldn’t go back to sleep.

It was one of those nights when your mind won’t shut up, and when you do fall asleep you have the most bizarre dreams that wake you up every 15 minutes.

I was 4 thousand steps behind my step goal and 7,000 steps behind first place.

After the kids were tucked in I marched out of bed and walked around in circles.

I told my self we would just make our step goal. Then leave the cards where they may fall, and get some sleep.

Once I got to 10,000 and my fit bit started vibrating I realized I wasn’t going to settle for second place two weeks in a row.

I had a revelation.

The thing about fitness that throws me off as a fat girl is when you think of these pushing through your excuses quotes you think of something grand.

Tire flipping, American Ninja Warrior like obstacle races.

Not taking steps.

Taking steps is easy, anyone can do it.

This is when the revelation happened.

Everyone can do it, but not everyone does.

I am always looking for something elaborate.

You see it all the time these days with everyone on your face book page doing some multi level marketing weight loss thing.

You think it should be more impactful.

You need a shake, or more of a commitment.

I realized yesterday that although I am moving at a snails pace on this backwards scale climb I am changing who I am in the process.

I can’t lose a work week hustle two weeks in a row unless my legs are broken, or I am hospitalized.

It is not because I am a stay at home Mom and chase kids all day.

It is because I am not going to lose two weeks in a row.

I am not running stadium seats in thick humidity, posting transformation tuesday photos, or giving up my summer infatuation with pink berry.

I am not hyper focused, or super obsessed with my weight loss goal.

and #ilovepizza4eva

But everything is still changing.