Writings

my latest thoughts

Maybe it could Stay Summer just a little Longer?

backtoshoolSchool is a week away!

For every god awful please start an iv line full of vodka day there has been this summer there were more of  those days that the sun seemed to be shining from inside my house.

OG will get on the bus, walk into his class room, and start his elementary school journey.

His first year as a full day school kid.

Recess, Cafeteria lunches, 6 hours of someone else in charge.

It is all happening for him this year.

My heart is aching in all sorts of ways.

I will miss the way he and his siblings would sit outside on the porch every morning after Hubbs set off to work.

Hearing them rustling through the recycling bins looking for things to make potions out of.

Him helping Lady Baby pour water from one container to another.

Last Baby babbling, and jumping away on the exerciser I dragged out there.

The bittersweet moments that the fall will bring when I am alone in the kitchen while the babies are asleep.

Prepping dinner in the peace and quiet.

I imagine I will look over at the lego table, and feel that tinge of sadness that is attached to watching your babies grow up.

OG will not be there digging through the table giving me a play by play of what he is building.

His little voice giving me a play by play while I do anything really.

I wonder how many more summers I will have of hearing that little voice wanting to tell me every single thing that fills up his brain?

I will miss the way he sets up some crazy adventure to play with Lady Baby after nap time, and how he always tries to help unbuckle her from her car seat when we reach our destination.

I will miss  us sitting on the sofa at 2pm to watch Secrets of A Restaurant Chef.

I will miss all of it. Even the bad days. When I wanted to stab everyone in the neck with pencils.

Every season as a Mother comes with it’s own heartbreak.

Immediately after the  first tear rolls down your cheek you feel overwhelmed by gratitude that you were lucky enough to even have these moments.

It is always so amazing to me how your heart can feel so full with love, and be breaking at the same time.

 

 

 

 

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jae arel
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Jae Arel

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