Writings

my latest thoughts

August is Coming.

forge

 

 

 

The Energy in the Universe right now is insane. Have you felt it?

This heavy feeling I keep trying to wipe away.

I feel like Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights when he thinks he is on fire.

“HELP ME JESUS, HELP ME JEWISH GOD, HELP ME ALLAH, HELP ME TOM CRUISE, USE YOUR WITCHCRAFT ON ME TO GET THE FIRE OFF OF ME.”

I have sent that meme to my best friend every day for a week.

Everyday starts with me asking for my highest and best angels and guides to get it off, and they keep showing me that I am getting it off slowly and surely as this eclipse season comes to a head. I am shedding everything I was for everything I have been trying to be.

The thought of going all in to this constant pull of the universe to become who I am is scary as fuck. At least six times a day I decide I will just spend the month of August hiding under my covers.

Over the summer I was at a rehearsal dinner set in the upstairs room of a seaside restaurant. One of the guests was pregnant and the birth stories started flowing from around the table. A perfect compliment for pan seared salmon and appetizers.  After my story of Last Baby’s magical, life altering, un medicated birth came up the pregnant guest looked over at her husband and said ” I want meds, I’m not a hero.”

In that moment a flash of clarity smacked me in the face. She might not be a hero, but I am.

It is important for me to embrace that part of myself that makes people talk shit about how self righteous I am.

That piece of info so wonderfully bestowed on me at that dinner was important. It set me up to not hide under the bed right now when everything I thought I knew turns out to be not real at all. Embracing that hero part of me that I try to hide, or banish away because of how it makes other people feel is going to save me during this eclipse season.

I am a badass life slaying heroine.

If you are losing everyone and everything right now hold on. You are not the only one.

The next three weeks are going to be a doozie.

How have I been dealing with all this?  I spend my time soaking in salt baths, grounding, meditating, praying, and watching Sasha Banks and Charlotte Flair matches because nothing inspires me to kick some ass like those two. Find your inspiration. Fall into the things that make you happy.

Even if that happens to be professional wrestling and you catch mad awkward stares when you send a Sasha Banks gif to non believers.

Everything you dreamed of is on the other side of this.

 

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jae arel
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Jae Arel

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